Africa to America back to Africa

When coming from Africa and going to America it's a big change for me. Yes, you heard that right: going to America is difficult. Whenever you live in a culture long enough, it becomes hard to go to another, even if it's the one you grew up in.

Coming back to Togo after being in the States is no different. The way they eat, the way they communicate, the way they treat one another, the way they deal with difficulty, the way they live as a family. Every culture is different. When you are in a culture and are apart of it you start to take on some of their characteristics whether you realize it or not, or whether you like it or not. For me and for my family, one of the big things here in Kara, where we live, is sounds that they make with their mouths. When they want to say yes they click at the back of their throats, when they want to say no they click two times. Currently all of our boys do this. It is quite humorous, especially hearing our 2 year old do it. When people here feel shocked or upset they have a sound for it. It's pretty funny when we go back to the States and it slips out before we can stop it. Quite embarrassing! It is quite the adjustment. Joshua would love to eat with his hands all the time because his friends do it. Trust me, you can not eat fufu with a fork or a spoon, you could try but you will just get frustrated, you must get your hands right in there, dipping the ball of fufu right into the sauce. (Fufu is a type of food they eat here that comes from a root. It is starchy and really has no flavor, it is simply a tool to use to eat the yummy sauce). So when going from Togo to America it is a bit of a shock to the system.

When we were in America, things were completely different. The culture is obviously completely different than the culture in Togo. Our kids were not too sure about it. To be honest, I am not too sure about it. Greetings are different, people talk differently. Not a lot of people talk to you. No one is making clicking sounds, and no one eats with their hands except for Joshua (or if you are eating pizza). Everything is different, but it’s a good different. There are things I like about America: coffee is a big one! And we have lots of conveniences, like all the stores to choose from. But the greatest thing of all is the church culture, we are able to worship Christ together with other English-speaking people and worship Christ. You can worship Christ anywhere but, there is nothing like worshiping Him in your own culture in your own language. I am grateful for both cultures and love them both.

So back to Togo we go! This return for me has been one of the hardest for me. It is not that I did not want to return to Togo; I really wanted to. It started on the trip over to Togo. It would hit me in waves. Like when I walked into the airports that were no longer American, something inside of me screamed unfamiliar!, unfamiliar! The thing is, is that it was not unfamiliar ground for me, we have done this trip 5 other times, and this is our 6th. It was as if my body had adjusted to American things and culture in the 6 months that we had been in the States, that it was not having anything else. Okay, it did not help that our 2 year old was melting down too. There were different smells, different people, people from all over the world. It was as if I was on overload. When we finally reached Africa, my senses were heightened. We were no longer walking down a hallway to get off the plane, we are walking down stairs to get on a bus to take us to the airport. We all crammed into a bus with no sitting room while we waited (and waited) to drive off. This wasn't new to me either, but for some reason this time I was not liking it. As we make our way to the airport immigration, I started to relax, then it dawned on me, our suitcases, did they all make it? And if they did how much are the customs guys going to charge? All those things started to make me have those feelings again. Again I want to say I have done this many times, not a problem right? Everything went smoothly, we never paid anything, and our friends were waiting for us on the other side of the door to take us to the hotel.

The next day as were driving around Lomé (the capital of Togo), something struck me, it was poverty. It is impossible to miss, and it is impossible for any caring person to ignore. What to do about it? I felt like one person with one bowl of rice with 10,000 people around me asking me for that one bowl. How is it possible to help this many people? Another crushing thought that made it difficult to enter in Togo again.

As we finally arrive in our home up north in Kara, I was struck with the horrible smell of mildew. There were no pictures on the walls, lots of things were put away in storage, and it did not look like a home. Everything was so dusty not because it was not cleaned, but because we are right in the middle of Harmattan, where dust comes from the Sahara and showers us with a lovely fine dust, impossible to keep out of anything. This was depressing. Because of some other things, I was not feeling at home. But there is hope to this story. The mildew smell eventually went away, pictures started to go back up on the walls and it started to look and feel and smell like a home. The dust stayed, but we will have our big clean when this season is over and it will be grand. My heart and my mind were settling back in and when I was able to see my dear friends in town made it even better. This particular transition was difficult, but my desire to live here comes from the Lord and the love for people around me comes from Him, no matter the color. I thank God for the people around me and for the encouragement I have received from them. So I can now say I am back and loving it. There will always be poverty in the world, but a greater problem is that people around us do not have Christ. This is the greatest thing that helps me to come back to Togo.